States and countries
Why is Europe like a frying pan?
Because it has Greece at the bottom.
A pet shop owner had a parrot with a sign on its cage that said "Parrot repeats everything it hears". Davey bought the parrot and for two weeks he spoke to it and it didn't say a word. He returned the parrot but the shopkeeper said he never lied about the parrot.
How can this be?
The parrot was deaf.
Why did Snap, Crackle and Pop get scared?
They heard there was a cereal killer on the loose.
Sometimes I am born in silence, Other times, no. I am unseen, But I make my presence known. In time, I fade without a trace. I harm no one, but I am unpopular with all. What am I?
A fart.
There was a man who wanted to prove his love to his wife. So, he climbed the highest mountain, swam the deepest ocean and walked the biggest desert. What do you think his wife said?
Nothing. She divorced him for never being at home.
Which country gets ill all the time?
Braz-il.
What kind of music do rabbits like?
Hip hop.
What kind of food does the baby chicken make when it goes to the bathroom?
Chickpeas.
Why do they not allow you to fart in an Apple Store?
Because They don't have Windows
Four people enter a store and they each spend 100 dollars. The total that was spent was 300 dollars. Name the four people.
A grandma, a mother, a daughter, and a grandson.
What country has many germs?
Germ-many
Why do cats make good soldiers?
They have 9 lives.
I am a alcohol yet kids can drink me and stay sober. What am I?
Root beer.
What is the sharpest thing in the world?
A fart, it can go through your clothes without making a hole!
A Boy And A Doctor Went Fishing. The Boy Was The Doctor's Son But The Doctor Wasn't The Boy's Father. Who Is The Doctor?
The boy's mother.
Bob proposed to Maja, but all she could say was Norway, it was her home country. Why did Bob break up with her?
Maja said No-way
Rye was wearing a 2 foot leash. He sees a squirrel and wants nothing more than to chase after it. Lucky for him Rye was finally able to catch the squirrel. How did he do it?
Because the leash is not tied on to anything else.
Which kind of fruit must have a large wedding ceremony with lots of people in attendance?
Can’t-elope.
Never resting, never still. Moving silently from hill to hill. It does not walk, run or trot, All is cool where it is not. What is it?
An S.B.D.
Mary's Mother Had Four Children; April, May, And June Were The First Three. What's The Name Of The 4th Child?
Mary.
What happens when your hungry and you run to the grocery store to find that the rack of turkey is covered in grease?
"I'm so Hungary that Iran to the grocery store and grabbed Iraq of Turkey which is covered in Greece."
Why do turkeys get full on Thanksgiving?
Because they’re stuffed.
What is the richest nut?
Cashew.
What do you call a farting Pharaoh toot?
A tutankhamun.
A farmer needs to take a fox, a chicken, and a sack of grain across a river. The only way across the river is by a small boat, which can only hold the farmer and one of the three items. Left unsupervised, the chicken will eat the grain, and the fox will eat the chicken. However, the fox won't try to eat the grain, and neither the fox nor the chicken will wander off. How does the farmer get everything across the river?
A. Take the chicken across the river.
B. Come back with an empty boat.
C. Take the grain across the river.
D. Bring the chicken back.
E. Take the fox across the river.
F. Come back with an empty boat.
G. Take the chicken across the river. H. All in order.
H. All in order