Domestic Violence 1
What is Domestic Violence (DV)?
It is when grownups in a relationship try to control each other through physical harm, threats, intimidation, put downs, isolation from friends or family, not taking responsibility for their behavior, withholding the kids or money.
What thoughts might kids have who are seeing domestic violence?
It is my fault.
Why is this happening?
People hurt each other or hit to solve their problems.
Hitting/yelling is okay.
I am scared/upset/worried.
Do my parents care about/love each other?
Domestic violence is a personal problem between a husband and a wife or between partners.
Phony!
Domestic Violence affects everyone in the family. It is estimated that 3.3 million children in the US witness domestic violence every year.
True or False?
One in ten children in the U.S. are exposed to domestic violence, and the majority of them are under six years old.
True!!
True or False?
Children who have witnessed domestic violence might feel guilty and that it is their fault.
True!
BUT! Domestic violence is never a child’s fault. The person who chose to be violent is the one at fault
Whose fault is it when domestic violence happens?
It is always the grownup who is being violent. It is never the child's fault or the grownup who is being hurt.
What are some examples of domestic violence?
Physical: Hitting, slapping, punching, choking
Emotional: Name calling, putting them down, making fun of them
Sexual: Inappropriately touching their privates, making them touch their privates, taking pictures or videos of their privates, or showing someone pictures or videos of their privates.
Domestic violence is only physical.
Phony!
Abusive actions against another person can be verbal, emotional, sexual, and physical.
Fact or Phony?
Children never get over witnessing domestic violence.
Phony!
Children may never forget what happened but with treatment, they can go on to have normal lives and healthy relationships.
True or False?
You can tell by looking at someone if they will be violent.
False!
You can’t tell by looking at someone if they will be violent. BUT, if a person has hit once in a relationship, they are likely to do it again.
How might kids feel who have witnessed domestic violence?
Guilty, as if they caused it or could have stopped it.
Mad, at either parent/caregiver.
Like they can't trust any adults.
Confused because they feel anger and love and fear and respect of the same person at the same time.
Worried about when it will happen again or if parent will live.
How can you tell if another kid has been through domestic violence?
You can't! Many kids experience domestic violence, and you would not be able to tell unless they told you.
Young children will not remember the violence they have witnessed.
Phony!
Children do not forget what they have witnessed. Young children demonstrate a remarkable capacity for recalling traumatic events.
True or false?
Witnessing domestic violence means only seeing it.
Witnessing can mean SEEING violence, but it also means HEARING threats or fighting noises from another room. It can mean that children OBSERVE the aftermath of physical abuse such as blood, bruises, tears, torn clothing, and broken items.
True or False?
Children often have mixed feelings about the person who is being violent, esp. if they are a parent.
True!
They might feel confused because they feel anger, love, fear and respect at the same time for the same person.
Who commits domestic violence?
Anyone can commit domestic violence. When a person is violent or has aggressive behavior within the home and harms their spouse or partner, they are committing domestic violence.
What happens to kids who have experienced domestic violence when they grow up?
Without therapy, they may think violence/yelling is okay, might be afraid to be in relationship, or they might worry they might commit domestic violence themselves.
But with treatment and therapy, these kids can have healthy, loving, and caring relationships!
Some people deserve to be hit.
Phony!
No one deserves to be abused. The only person responsible for the abuse is the abuser. Physical violence, even among family members, is wrong and against the law
Who is violent?
All kinds of people. Sometimes it is women, sometimes it is men. You can't tell just by looking at someone that they are violent. Violence does not discriminate by age, race, income, religion, etc.
True or False?
Domestic violence is a “loss of control.”
False!
Violent behavior is a choice. Perpetrators use it to control their victims. Domestic violence is about abusers using their control, not losing their control.
How many children witness domestic violence?
Every year more than 3 million children witness domestic violence in their homes.
What are some reasons kids don't tell right away if they are experiencing domestic violence in their home?
They are afraid, they are worried their parents might be mad at them, they love the person who is doing the domestic violence, they are worried what might happen if they do tell, the person doing the domestic violence might have scared or threatened them into not telling, they might worry no one will believe them.
Domestic violence is not common.
Phony!
•One in four American women report being physically assaulted and/or sexually assaulted by a current or former spouse, cohabiting partner, or date at some time in their life.
•Every day in the US three women are murdered by a husband or boyfriend
The emotional responses of children who witness domestic violence may include fear, guilt, shame, sleep disturbances, sadness, depression, and anger.
True!
Children can experience many emotions when they have witnessed domestic violence, and can have lots of symptoms after too!
True or false?
Parents and adults should not talk to children about domestic violence. They won’t understand anyway.
False!
Talking to children about domestic violence helps to break the cycle. Sending a clear message that it is unacceptable and teaching them non-violent ways of resolving conflict is very important.