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CONSTANCE. My dress! My only nice dress!
Come on if we wash it off quickly, I'm sure it won't stain
LADY LUCINDALA. Show us who you really are.
No, I couldn't possibly--
KING CORNELIUS. I'm ruined.
Ta-da! It fits. Look. It fits me perfectly.
MELKA. Do it.
I'd rather not.
THEOBALD. Is that right?
Perfect.
LARK. It's me.
Dalliance, I'm your dream come true.
THEOBALD. And the last part?
It's really not important
PRINCE DALLIANCE. Yes! Yes! A name like that.
My name is Gwena-la-da-ella
PRINCE DALLIANCE. Oh, OK. I d--
Wait!
THEOBALD. Of course it is.
Empress of the Diamond Mines.
ELISE. Guards, escort her out, please.
No! No! Hear me out. Prince Dalliance, I know for a fact that this girl is not the girl who danced with you at the ball.
ARCHBISHOP THEOBALD. Dear me. One more time, dear. It's a tricky one.
Gwenethotiana
PRINCE DALLIANCE. Yes. It fits. She must be the only one for me.
Let's do this.
PATRICE. We were all at the ball. Pirates didn't kidnap her during the dance. She ran out.
To try to get away from the pirates.
THEOBALD. And?
On the Mountain in the Gold Mist.
ARDELLE. I'm so sorry I had to rush off last night.
Prince Dalliance! Over here! It's me!
PRINCE DALLIANCE. How?
Because, Prince Dalliance, while you were weeping for your runaway dance partner, Constance here was standing right next to me.
ELISE. Like yesterday when you almost married her?
What? No. That's laughably ludicrous. What wedding? This is the first I've heard of any wedding. I've been at home balling my eyes out about leaving the ball without getting to tell you goodbye.
PRINCE DALLIANCE. How?
You see that vile girl over there--the one eating your wedding cake?!
WILLIMENIE. I will have you know I brought this wedding cake from home.
Well, at the ball, that girl spilled a drink all over Constance's party dress. The only nice dress she owns. This dress!
NONNIE. No, it's not.
Shhh. Empress Extraordinaire of the Golden Grove in the High Hills...of the Lost...Diamond...Ruby Kingdom.
ARCHBISHOP THEOBALD. What was your name again, young lady?
Gwendolyndla, Empress of the Golden Glitter Mountains in the Valley of Diamond Dewdrops and Pearls.
ELISE. Uh huh.
Give that back. I need it because it's so hot today and I am so excited to see the prince that I just might faint.
CORWIN. I do! She's the one who--
From the ball. I was enjoying the most magical dance of my life with you, my prince, my love-- when suddenly, I was whisked away--kidnapped by pirates.
LADY LUCINDALA. We are nowhere near the ocean.
Those dreaded pirates kidnapped me and kept me prisoner on their pirate ship for a fortnight, but I heroically escaped, jumped overboard and swam straight here to finally put an end to these wrong weddings, try on the shoe and reunite you with your one and only true love, me.