Whitney 101:
Alter Ego
Who is Whitnasty?
Farted and tore their ACL at the same time
Who is Mackenzie?
Lived in a barndaminum
The second love of my life (behind Dylan) who just got married :/
Who is Koo?
Got punched by their friend during a night out & got a black eye
Violently puked after 2 drinks bc no!!! mixing!!! drinks!! and!!! meds!!!
Dated someone who is currently dating Mary Elizabeth Huff
Who is Lucy?
Had all of their friends watch them make out with a mans through the window
Who is Alex?
Came to my dorm to hangout with me, slept with my roommate and then told me he wanted a relationship the next more :-? (thank God this did not work out)
Who is Cole?
In high school they had a guy over and made burgers in the oven but left the oven mitt in the oven so there was a fire and the guy thought it would be a good idea to spray it with water, which busted the oven screen. Told their mother it was because they were playing with the dog.
Who is Michaela?
forced me to go on a double date... but the joke was on them... as their date had a giant boogie hanging out of their nose
Who is Faith?
Has the most tattoos and piercings in the group
Who is Sofia?
cried and made a man stop doing the ~dirty~ because it was too much to handle hahahah
Who is Madison?
~Walked in~ on Dylan and me with the new boyfriend
Who is Ashli?
Went to a house party in high school and had their car stolen (for a joyride)
Who is Mattie?
Their family thought they were missing when "hanging out" with me, but really they were on a date (I was in a different state)
Who is Mattie?
Who gave me my fake ID?
Who is Lucy?
kissed a manager at work... did not work out.... when making out he blew air in her mouth?!? (still not sure how one even does that?!?)
Fraternity I was at when the cops came and I fell into a hole while trying to run away hahhaha
Who is Phi Delt?
Witnessed a high-speed chase with me
Who is Faith?
Talked me out of hanging out with a guy because he wanted a threesome
Who is Michaela?
In the same career field as me
Who is Bailey?
made me sit outside of the hotel room while they were doing the ~dirty~
Who is Haley?
(She has a lovely gf now we stan)