Nothing can be certain, except for this deck.
What is Death and Taxes?
A mother only a child could love.
Who is Goblin Matron?
An overly efficient mana rock, a generic, albeit expensive, tutor.
What is Sol Ring of Three Wishes?
I'm trying to force my opponent's spell, but they say it costs 3!
What is Trinisphere?
This turn.
This deck popularized the use of the now omnipresent mana curve, changing the game forever with haymakers such as Orcish Librarian and Brothers of Fire.
What is Sligh?
When asked how much power is required, Izzet mages always answer “more.”
Who is Goblin Electromancer?
A classic red removal spell, its recent retrain that only goes face.
What is Lightning Boltwave?
Do I really need to vandalize this card? How was this printed in black border?!?!
What is Cryptic Spires?
Chandra, Torch of Defiance
Immediately.
This resource denial deck is named after a deep-fried pizza dish.
What is Ponza?
He protects the fetid bog from light, life, and the hideous sound of laughter.
Who is Ignoble Hierarch?
A childish imitation of Chandra, a mono black god's second card.
What is Young Pyromancerebos, Bleak Hearted?
My opponent is using this card to bury my Sengir Autocrat, even though it's clearly from Eternal Masters!
What is Apocalypse Chime?
Unstable Amulet
Until you exile another card with Unstable Amulet.
This cereal-themed combo deck comboed Goblin Bombardment with Enduring Renewal to infinitely burn its opponents in a red, white, and blue shell.
What is Fruity Pebbles?
“It’s time for the ‘Smash, Smash’ song!”
Who is Goblin Chieftain?
The most expensive way to take initiative, a way to band your legends (as long as they're all green).
What is Tomb of Horrors Adventurer's Guildhouse?
My won't let me pay for my Arcum's Astrolabe with mana from this aura, but it tells me to add my Icehide Golem's mana cost!
What is Elemental Resonance?
Possibility Technician
If you control a Kavu.
A cycling based combo deck is named after a Disney attraction that involves dying and being sent to hell.
What is Mr. Toad's Wild Ride?
Brash_Taunter: that ride is a BEAST!
Thrun_TheLastTroll: looks like an old ashtray tbh
Who is Goblin Welder?
A card from the sega dreamcast, a way to avoid death at a moment's notice, and magic's third ever plainswalker.
What is Arden Angel's Graceful Antelope?
My opponent is setting three schemes into motion instead of one! How do we resolve this?
What is Plots That Span Centuries?
Boros Strike-Captain
During any turn you attacked with three or more creatures.