Excuses That Fool No One
My Chromebook died (It's been dead since September)
What is long-term neglect
Opening an assignment, staring at it, then rewarding yourself with a 2-hour break.
What is balance?
This letter becomes your entire personality during tests.
What is C?
The one slide you memorized word-for-word that never showed up.
What is wasted potential?
This pizza legally cannot be called pizza in 3 states.
What is cafeteria pizza?
I didn't know we had homework (It was written on the board, said, and emailed to you)
What is selective hearing
Saying “I’ll do it later” so many times that “later” no longer exists.
What is time travel?
Getting one question right with this method and immediately trusting it forever.
What is blind faith?
The teacher says “don’t worry about this,” and then makes it half the test.
What is a trap?
This “chicken” nugget has the texture of a sponge and the soul of nothing.
What is mystery meat?
I was gonna do it, but then I fell asleep (at 5pm)
What is Giving Up Early
Checking your grade and deciding “that’s good enough” no matter what it is.
What is acceptance?
Ignoring all studying and putting your future in the hands of this letter.
What is poor decision-making?
Studying for hours just to recognize absolutely nothing on the test.
What is a surprise attack?
This milk carton has been dropped 14 times and now identifies as a weapon.
What is blunt force trauma?
I couldn't print it (there was no assignment to print)
What is inventing problems
Walking into class already tired… of existing.
What is burnout at 17?
When the answer is literally A, but you pick this anyway out of loyalty.
What is commitment issues?
Asking “is this important?” and getting a 5-minute speech instead of an answer.
What is avoiding the question?
This lunch item makes you question your life choices by 11:32 AM.
What is everything on the tray?
I did it, I just forgot it (You hadn't done it)
What is a Personality Trait
Applying to college but refusing to apply yourself.
What is irony?
Failing the test but saying “nah, C just wasn’t hitting today.”
What is delusion at an advanced level?
Walking out of the test wondering if you studied for the wrong class.
What is an identity crisis?
Even scientists refuse to study this food out of fear.
What is cafeteria food?