Organization
Which lede has better organization:
1. On February 14, history teacher Ms. Wodaski set up cards for staff members to write to each other.
2. There were cards left by history teacher Ms. Wodaski in the main office for staff to write to each other on February 14.
Number 1; it flows better!
Which information would be in the lede about the school play?
Who: Ms. Shpiece is the director of the play.
When: The play is on May 12 and May 13 at 7pm
When. This is more important to tell readers FIRST than saying who is in charge of the play
Where is the most important information -- early in the article, in the middle of the article, or at the bottom of the article?
Which quote is more effective?
"How did I not see the whole picture? How did I not prevent this from happening?" 8th grader Susan Boyle said.
"I kept questioning myself," 8th grader Susan Boyle said.
"How did I not see the whole picture? How did I not prevent this from happening?" -- this SHOWS us the questioning. It feels more like a person is talking.
Which is organized better:
1. Ms. Saunders started EBB on January 30 and the deadline to sign up has passed.
2. Sign ups for EBB have passed because it started on January 30.
1. Ms. Saunders started EBB on January 30 and the deadline to sign up has passed.
Which "where" would come FIRST? Which "where" would come SECOND?
What: Graffiti of hateful language
Where: Gaithersburg High School
Where: Student lockers in the hallways
Gaithersburg High School would come first. The secondary detail is where they found the graffiti (the lockers)
Which 5W & H is almost NEVER in the lede (opening sentence)?
The Why (and the How)
Which is the correct writing?
"I tried to help," said 7th grader Billy Smith.
When we interviewed Billy he said "he tried to help"
"I tried to help," said 7th grader Billy Smith.
Quote + said + name
Which is organized better:
1. The earthquakes in Syria and Turkey have left several people homeless.
2. Several people are homeless after the earthquakes in Syria and Turkey.
1. The earthquakes in Syria and Turkey have left several people homeless.
The other one makes it sound unrelated
Pick the better lede:
Ms. Shpiece decided to stop filming MVTV every day on February 10.
MVTV will air every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday instead of every day.
MVTV will air every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday instead of every day.
You can talk about Ms. Shpiece and February 10 later, but it's not the MOST important information to communicate first.
What's a lede?
It is the 1st sentence in an article! It tells you the most important information.
Which is correct?
We asked Ms. Branch a few questions and this is what she had to say. "I work hard to help students."
"I work hard to help students," Ms. Branch said.
"I work hard to help students," Ms. Branch said.
Don't tell me you talked to her -- just put the quote in!
Which is organized better?
1. Elen and Sophie joined the summer camp two years ago and have been coming back ever since.
2. Two years ago was when Elen and Sophie first signed up, and they keep signing up every year since then.
1. Elen and Sophie joined the summer camp two years ago and have been coming back ever since.
It's less words and it flows better.
Which information would you save for LATER?
1. The new game will be released in May of 2023.
2. The gameplay will be featured at this year's E3.
2. The gameplay will be featured at this year's E3.
It's not the most important information if the article is about the game.
Where does the not-as-important information and details go in an article? Beginning, middle, or end?
End!
Which one is more interesting to include?
"I don't like cartoons very much, because I don't."
"All the cartoons I've seen are either for little kids or for adults and neither of them are funny. I'm not a fan."
"All the cartoons I've seen are either for little kids or for adults and neither of them are funny. I'm not a fan."
ALWAYS pick the more interesting quote!
Which is organized better?
1. At Village Round Up, team leaders give upcoming information, offer honor roll certificates, and hand out prizes.
2. Students get honor roll certificates, prizes, and upcoming information at Village Round Up from the team leaders.
1. At Village Round Up, team leaders give upcoming information, offer honor roll certificates, and hand out prizes.
Which information would you choose to include in an article about the play?
1. Ms. Shpiece directed the play and Dr. Ryon taught everyone the songs.
2. Ms. Onyango went to supervise the play.
1. Ms. Shpiece directed the play and Dr. Ryon taught everyone the songs.
It's an article ABOUT the play. You could maybe include the second part LATER but not in the beginning.
Most to least important -- get the news out first, details later
Which is correct?
I asked Mr. Gillen and he said he wasn't sure.
"I'm not sure," Mr. Gillen said.
"I'm not sure," Mr. Gillen said.
Don't use I in your writing unless you're quoting -- and just put the quote in, don't tell me that you asked someone.