Common Sayings
*Farmer sits down at the dinner table with his food*
"You know you don't have to eat all that"
3-7 and talking to the trashcan are highlights of this favorite family road trip pastime
sorting one’s hair by the most agitating means
Splitting Ends
“you don’t have to be a star”
Waterskiing
“wait didn’t we watch this yesterday?”
Falling asleep to a crime show
Mom's response every time she's surprised
"I knew it"
*phone rings* “and then the little boy wondered…”
CROCKPOT
the act of pulling or pushing the joints of your fingers to make a noise
Cracking Knuckles
the farmer grows it, but she can throw it (at least one hip ago)
Cornhole
farmer in his underwear washes his face and moans, shower and curlers, thump thump thump, 2 ice cubes and mixed juice, rinse the thermos
a vining herbaceous plant whose fruit are harvested when their immature seeds and epicarp are still soft and edible. It is closely related, but not identical, to the marrow; its fruit may be called marrow when mature
succhini
if they fit like a glove, they must be mine
Ladies Pants
prim and proper, she exclaims “I’m eating!”
Bathroom Talk at the Dinner Table
this daily habit heals all your diseases, redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and mercy, & satisfies you with good
100 Sit Ups
Today's to-do list: 1. Organize 2. Reorganize yesterday's organizing 3. Plan tomorrow's organizing
Cleaning
The proper greeting just after dawn
"Goodmorning to YOUUUUU"
Incoming call from "Ppp", T9 is hard, it must be..
Barry Metzger
*a tick, a pause, a tick* "hey are you almost done with that?"
Clipping Nails
a little tape, a little glue, not quite right but it’ll due
Farmerizing
teaching the kids was like pounding sand, people still do this by hand?
Balancing the Checkbook
When in the midst of a challenging task
"Whose idea was this?"
Here we go, on the fly look up in the sky; Everything's going by and by
Freestyle Rapping
the lines are falling down down down, nothing is straight I frown frown frown
Not having a Ruler
an outdated term for one who would handle any and all passenger demands
Therefore, in order to keep Farmer from becoming conceited, he was given [furry] thorns in his flesh, [whiskered] messengers of Satan, to torment him...
Feeding the Cats