Beatles Before and After
Cryptic Crossword
Classic Jingles
Punchlines
Funny or Die
100

Famous London church whose album cover showed the lads in a zebra crossing


Westminster Abbey Road

100

This masked man is always at home in Dodger Stadium (6)

Umpire

100

"The best part of waking up is" this "in your cup"

Folgers

100

Gracie's traditional response to George Burns' order "Say good night, Gracie"

Good Night Gracie

100

In "A Day at the Races", while checking a pulse, he said, "Either he's dead or my watch has stopped"

Groucho Marx

200

This 1970 Beatles hit "leads to your door" with an angry outburst by the driver of a car

The Long and Winding Road Rage

200

Stuffed animal attacked by bats at a party (6)

PiƱata

200

"Everybody doesn't like something, but nobody doesn't like" this

Sara-Lee

200

In "Airplane" Leslie Nielsen gives this response when told "Surely you can't be serious"

Don't call me Shirley

200

W.C. Fields said, "It's a funny old world--a man's lucky if he gets out of it" this way

Alive

300

"Unalienable rights" include "life, liberty" & the "White Album"'s ode to firearms

The Pursuit of Happiness is a Wram Gun

300

Forwarding address for a sled dog (4)

Mush

300

"I Can't Believe I Ate the Whole Thing"

Alka-Seltzer

300

It explains why music played backwards is coming from Beethoven's grave

He's decomposing

300

This director: "There are worse things" than death; "ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?"

Woody Allen

400

1964 No. 2 hit that says, "Do you promise not to tell" that I'm a spy

Do You Want to Know a Secret Agent

400

A touching scene at airport security (7)

Patdown

400

"When it absolutely, positively has to be there overnight"

Fed-Ex

400

It completes the exchange: "My dog has no nose." "Then how does he smell?"

Awful

400

This good sport said, "Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours"

Yogi Berra

500

Take this sad song, a 1968 No. 1, & Thomas Hardy's last novel & make it better

Hey Jude the Obscure

500

More work from 1516 (6) U _ _ _ _ A

Utopia

500

"It's not nice to fool Mother Nature"

Chiffon Margarine

500

When Rodney Dangerfield told his doctor he wanted a second opinion, the doc said this

You're ugly too

500

This Brit comic cross-dresser: "Guns don't kill people, people do... but monkeys do too, if they've got a gun"

Eddie Izzard