Little Problems.
Expected Reactions.
Expected Reactions.
Little Problem: My other classmates are getting tickets for being expected and I am not because I am out of my seat.
Examples of Expected Reactions:
Take some deep breaths and try again. When I am doing what is expected, I will earn tickets, too.
Medium Problem: Billy threw the ball too hard during dodgeball and hit me in the face.
Examples of Expected Reactions:
Ask an adult for help, call a timeout and have staff take you to the nurse if needed. Rejoin the game when you feel better.
You’re playing basketball at recess and the game is getting a bit physical. Your heart is racing and you start to feel annoyed with people guarding you so closely. You start to feel like shoving someone and you decide to take a break before you really lose your cool.
Is your reaction expected or unexpected?
Expected. It’s great that you noticed the signs you might lose control and took action before you made a bad choice.
BONUS: What were those signs?
Your dad told you to clean up your stuff, but you're having fun. You don't want to stop playing. Besides, the room is messy, and you don't feel like cleaning up. A voice in your head says, “You don’t have to listen to him.” Whose voice is it, your Inner Coach or Inner Critic?
Your Inner Critic
Sometimes my inner coach and inner critic fight for my attention. Who’s in control of who I listen to?
A. My staff
B. My classmates
C. Me
D. My inner critic
C. Me
Bonus: Why would you want to listen to your inner coach?
Little Problem: George is looking at me while I am trying to do my morning work.
Examples of Expected Reactions:
I can ignore him and finish my morning work.
I can ask a teacher to put up a divider.
I can ask my staff if I can finish my work in a breakout space.
Medium Problem: Lucy accidentally dropped the computer and now the class is unable to use it for choice time.
Examples of Expected Reactions:
Apologize for breaking the computer.
Find something else to do for choice time.
You’re feeling bored in class. You start talking to the person next to you and make rude comments when the teacher calls on you to participate.
Is your reaction expected or unexpected?
Unexpected.
BONUS: What would be an expected reaction if you are feeling bored in class?
Staff has been telling you to do stuff all day. You're tired of it. You want to say, "No" and "I don't have to" and "Leave me alone." You want to walk away and do what you want to do.
What could your inner coach say to help you make an expected choice?
Example:
“You need some space. Ask for a break.”
A classmate has been making fun of me all week. My inner critic says, “You’re such a loser. No one likes you.”
What might happen if I listen to my inner critic?
Examples:
Feel bad about myself
Hard to pay attention
In a bad mood
Little Problem: Miss Katie is going to work with another student and is not working with me today.
Examples of Expected Reactions:
I can wait appropriately until the next time Miss Katie comes to work with me.
I can ask my staff when I am scheduled to work with her.
I can keep my body calm and move on with my schedule.
Medium Problem: Samuel tripped me on the way back from lunch and I hit my chin on the ground.
Examples of Expected Reactions:
Ask staff to take you to the nurse.
It’s expected to cry if you get hurt.
Rejoin the class once you feel better.
You got in trouble at home, and you're angry. Your parents punished you, but you think your sibling deserves to be punished. You could hit, pinch or trip your brother or sister when no one's looking. You could hide or break one of your sibling's toys. But you know if you do, you’ll only get in more trouble. You decided to go take a break in your room to cool down.
Is your reaction expected or unexpected?
Expected. Even though you felt angry and wanted to do those things, you made a good choice to take a break and cool down before things got really out of hand.
During choice time, Karen was coloring the same exact picture as you. She is really good at coloring and her picture is looking really pretty.
A voice in your head says “You are a great colorer” “Your picture is beautiful, too” “Everyone has their own strengths and talents, I am glad Karen is good at coloring.”
Whose voice is it, Inner Coach or Inner Critic?
Inner Coach
A classmate has been making fun of me all week. My inner coach says, “You’re a good person. You don’t deserve to be talked to that way. Talk to your staff and come up with a plan.”
What might happen if I listen to my inner coach?
Examples:
Create a plan for how to deal with the problem
Start to feel better
Little Problem: I made a mistake on my paper and my pencil has no eraser.
Examples of Expected Reactions:
I can ask my staff for an eraser.
I can just cross out the mistake and write it correctly.
Even if it impacts only one person, most of the time when physical aggression is used, it is at least a medium problem.
Is it expected or unexpected to be aggressive in return?
Unexpected
The teacher is giving directions, but your friend sitting next to you keeps talking. You can't hear the directions.
Even though they’re your friend, you ignore what they’re saying right now. You raise your hand and ask for the directions to be repeated.
Is your reaction expected or unexpected?
Expected.
During math time, you were really bored with your worksheet and chose not to complete it. Your teacher tells you “If you don’t participate, you won’t earn points for math” You say “I don’t care” “This stuff is boring and I can’t do it” You throw all your papers on the floor and walk away.
Was this your Inner Coach or Inner Critic?
What could your Inner Coach say to help you make an expected choice?
Inner Critic
Example:
“Can you help me?”
“I need help.”
“I need a break.”
I’m having a hard time concentrating in class because it’s loud in my classroom. Most of the time when this happens, I get in arguments with my classmates.
My inner critic says, “You’re so stupid.”
What might happen if I listen to my inner critic?
Examples:
Even harder to concentrate and learn
Start yelling at my classmates
Little Problem: We were unable to go outside for recess today since it started snowing.
Examples of Expected Reactions:
I can be flexible. I can find something to do inside for recess.
I can ask staff to play a game out in the pod.
Medium Problem: My classmates are being inappropriate, disrupting class, and being disrespectful. I am feeling uncomfortable and anxious, but my staff is telling me to ignore them.
Examples of Expected Reactions:
You might feel embarrassed to speak up in front of the group.
You can seek out an adult to advocate what you are feeling. Make a plan with the adult.
The person sitting behind you keeps tapping your chair with his foot. You nicely ask the person to stop, but that only lasts a minute before he’s doing it again.
You turn around a push the stuff off his desk.
Is your reaction expected or unexpected?
Unexpected. Even though you tried one expected action (asking him to stop), your second choice is still unexpected.
BONUS: What could you have done instead?
My friend Billy and I were out playing a game of basketball. Billy asks to play a different game, but you really want to keep playing basketball. A voice in your head says “Forget him, I can play by myself.” “I can’t believe he wants to play something that I don’t want to play!”
Whose voice is it, Inner Coach or Inner Critic?
Inner Critic
I’m having a hard time concentrating in class because it’s loud in my classroom. Most of the time when this happens, I get in arguments with my classmates.
My inner coach says, “This noise is really bothering you. Maybe some headphones would help or you could work in the breakout space.”
What might happen if I listen to my inner coach?
Examples:
Able to concentrate and get my work done
Feel better and less anxious about my work