Thinking errors
doing things to get approval or praise rather than learning or changing behavior.
pet me
refuses to admit the truth
Denying
a style of communication that's direct, respectful, and confident, and is based on mutual respect
assertive
a lot of like; stuck to someone
love
putting the responsibility for your unhealthy actions on someone/something else. It is an excuse to justify your inappropriate actions.
blaming
intentionally false statement or being deceitful to get out of a situation
lying
Giving directives to peers when not in charge
Acting like staff
a style of communication that involves expressing negative feelings indirectly, rather than openly addressing them
passive-aggressive
When do others give you time and focus
attention
trying to prove that something is right or ok when the truth is that it is unhealthy.
justifying
reason that justifies your action and lessens the blame.
Excuses
to change a situation so that you now have an advantage over someone who previously had an advantage over you.
Turning the table
using hostile or confrontational language to control or dominate others
aggressive
goals have you reached
success
Keeping track of what others do for personal gain
keeping score
changing the meaning of something or shifting the focus to avoid addressing the real problem or question or to fit your needs
redefining
a pattern of behavior where someone consistently puts others' needs before their own, often at the expense of their own well-being
People pleasing
a communication style where someone avoids expressing their needs, opinions, or values
passive
makes you important and worthy
inner peace
acting incapable so that others will do the work for you or so that people will feel sorry for you
acting helpless
Making other people look stupid to gain power and control
making fools of
dictating how the conversations goes and what is discussed.
Controlling the focus
You are on a team, but you are doing all of the work. You say, “We’re supposed to be doing this as a team. Yet, it seems to me that I’m doing all of the work. I’d like to talk about changing this.” is an example of what type of communication
assertive
you have done something great that people say that is cool
respect
Telling facts from a story that are true, but arranged in a way that either excuse an unhealthy behavior or saying the facts but leaving out important details.
fact stacking