Indirect cues
You send several messages in a group chat saying, “Why is no one answering me?” and “Hello???” The group had been talking earlier, but after your messages no one replies for a while.
What might the other people in the group be indirectly communicating?
They may want a break from the conversation or feel overwhelmed by many messages. Repeated messages can make people feel pressured.
During lacrosse practice, a teammate says, “Did you notice how bad Sarah played yesterday? She’s probably the worst one on the team.”
What would be a neutral response that shows you don’t want to join the gossip?
You could say something neutral like:
“Everyone has off days,” or “I’m just focusing on practice today.”
This avoids agreeing or adding negative comments.
You walk into class and your usual seat is taken.
Did the person know that’s “your” seat?
What’s a flexible response?
“It’s not assigned.”
“I can sit somewhere else.”
“This isn’t a big problem.”
Your mom asks you to take out the trash. You say in an annoyed tone, “Why do I always have to do everything around here?” Later you realize your tone sounded rude.
What would be a responsible way to take accountability for your behavior?
“I’m sorry for the way I spoke earlier. My tone was rude. I’ll take the trash out now.”
Possible restitution:
Complete the chore without arguing.
Scenario:
You told a boy you liked him. He said he wasn’t interested. A week later, you see him kissing another girl at lunch.
You tell one friend that another girl in your class is “really annoying.” Later that week, the friend you were talking to starts hanging out more with the girl you talked about and talks less with you.
What might this friend be indirectly communicating?
She may feel uncomfortable hearing negative comments about others and may worry that you might talk about her the same way.
At dance, another girl whispers, “I heard Emily only got the solo because the teacher likes her.”
What could you say to avoid getting involved in the drama?
A neutral response such as:
“I’m not sure about that,” or “I’m just excited for the recital.”
This doesn’t spread the rumor.
You send a text and don't get a reply for hours.
What are 3 reasons someone might not answer?
What is the most realistic explanation?
What would you tell a friend in this situation?
“They’re probably busy.”
“It doesn’t mean they’re ignoring me.”
“I can wait.”
You moved something in the kitchen and later your mom asks, “Did you move this?” At first you say no, but you realize you actually did move it earlier.
How could you take accountability?
“You’re right, I did move it earlier. I forgot at first. I’m sorry.”
Possible restitution:
Put the item back where it belongs.
Scenario:
Your best friend sits with someone else at lunch and doesn’t save you a seat.
What is the best way to handle this situation?
You usually sit next to a girl in class. One day she chooses a seat across the room instead.
What might this change in behavior mean?
She might want some space or may be trying to sit with someone else that day.
A teammate asks you, “Do you think Chloe is really rude too, or is it just me?”
What could you say to avoid participating in gossip?
A neutral response such as:
“I don’t know” or “I try not to judge people.”
You join a conversation and the group keeps talking about something your not interested in.
Are they trying to exclude you?
Could they just really like that topic?
What are your options?
“It’s okay if I’m not into this.”
“I can listen or join another group.”
“This isn’t personal.”
An adult asks you a question and you answer with a sarcastic or annoyed tone.
What could you say to take responsibility for your tone?
“I’m sorry for my tone earlier. I sounded annoyed and that wasn’t respectful.”
Scenario:
You text a friend or crush and see they read it but didn’t respond.
What is the best way to handle this?
You are texting a friend and sending long messages about your day. They reply with short responses like “ok,” “lol,” or “yeah.”
What might these short replies suggest?
They may be busy, not very interested in the topic, or ready to end the conversation.
In a group chat, someone sends a message saying, “Don’t tell anyone, but I heard that Mia got in trouble for cheating.”
What is a responsible response?
You could say:
“I’m not sure if that’s true,” or simply not respond and avoid continuing the conversation.
A teacher corrects you in front of the class.
Why do teachers correct students?
Does correction mean someone is mad at you?
Has this happened to other students?
“Everyone gets corrected sometimes.”
“This helps me improve.”
“It’s not a big deal.”
Your mom asks if you finished a chore and you say yes, but you actually didn’t finish it.
What would be a responsible way to fix this situation?
“I want to be honest. I said I finished the chore earlier but I didn’t. I’ll go finish it now.”
Possible restitution:
Complete the chore.
A peer says, “You can sit with us if you agree that this other girl is annoying.”
What does this behavior reflect?
Manipulation
You hear two girls talking about going to the mall after school, but they do not invite you.
What might this situation indirectly communicate?
They may want to spend time alone together, or they may not realize you want to join.
A classmate says, “Ugh, nobody likes Jessica. She’s so annoying.”
What would be a good response that doesn’t encourage gossip?
You could say:
“I don’t really want to talk about people like that,” or change the subject.
You notice friends are talking about something that happened over the weekend, but you weren't invited.
What are three possible reasons you weren’t invited?
Is every reason about you?
What is one neutral or positive explanation?
“Maybe it was last minute.”
“It doesn’t mean they don’t like me.”
“I can make plans next time.”
You leave dishes or wrappers in the living room and someone else has to clean them up.
What is a responsible way to take accountability?
“I’m sorry I left my mess out. I’ll clean it up now.”
Possible restitution:
Clean the area
A peer works with you during class, is polite and fair, but does not seek you out afterward.
Is this genuine friendship, social courtesy, or manipulation?
Social courtesy