Helpful or hurtful
I thought you said you were trying to lose weight. You really shouldn't eat that!
Hurtful- It is rude to comment about a person's diet like this.
You see your friend on Monday morning at school. You want to tell them about your weekend. How can you initiate this conversation?
"Hey, how was your weekend?"
"Hey, guess what I did this weekend?"
"Wow, your costume looks great! It would look even better if you had the sash like the real character has."
It starts off appropriately, but the second comment can rub people the wrong way.
You go trick-or-treating for Halloween. You go pick out a piece of candy to eat, but notice it is already opened. What do you do & why?
To be on the safe side, do not eat it and throw it away. You can always trick-or-treat for more. Better to be safe than sorry because you don't know if someone has tampered with the candy.
Would you rather go skydiving or bungee jumping?
I would rather _____ because _______.
I did terribly on that history today. If I did terribly, then that means you probably won't do well either.
Hurtful- It's okay to say how you did, but the second comment implies that the other person isn't smart enough.
There is a new student at school. Your teacher placed the new student at your table group. They walk up to you the group and stare. How do you initiate the conversation?
"Hi, what's your name? My name is _____. How do you like school so far?"
You are coming back to school after your dentist appointment. You walk into the classroom, and everyone is silently reading their books. You walk in quietly, sit in your seat, and take out your book.
Appropriate- You read the room and notice the room is quiet and everyone is busy reading. Walking to your seat quietly and taking out your book to read matches what everyone else is doing.
You are hanging out with your friend and they get a call from a friend from another school. They invite you and your friend to a party, but it is out in the woods. It is already 10pm and you have to be home by 10:30pm. What do you do/say and why?
"Thanks, but I need to be home soon." Politely decline the invitation so you don't miss curfew. It probably is not a good idea to go to a party out in the woods that late.
Would you rather go trick-or-treating or watch a scary movie?
I would rather _____ because _______.
You are out shopping for new outfits with a friend. Your friend tries on a shirt that doesn't really look good. They say to you, "I like this one. What do you think?" You say, "Maybe try on some others before you decide."
Helpful- Although you aren't directly saying "this doesn't look good," you are indirectly implying that there may be better options.
You see a friend dressed up in their costume, but don't know what their costume is. How do you initiate the conversation?
"Hey, I like your costume, but I can't quite figure out the character you are. What is your costume?"
You need to ask your teacher to retake a quiz you didn't do so well on. You see your teacher in the hall, and they are walking quickly towards the doors to exit the building. Is now a good time to ask your question?
Inappropriate- Your teacher is walking quickly out the door, which means they could be in a rush to get somewhere. A better solution would be to email your teacher and then follow up with them in person.
You are out trick-or-treating with your friends and notice a little kid is walking around by himself. He looks lost. What do you do/say and why?
You can ask the kid if he needs help. If he needs help, you can help him look for his parents/the group he was with. It is appropriate and the right thing to do to help other community members when they are in need.
Would you rather eat pumpkin pie or drink a Pumpkin Spice Latte?
I would rather _____ because _______.
Your friend is in the school musical. During the musical, she forgot a few of her lines. After the show, you go up to your friend and say, "It's okay, you did great. You've got the next show!"
Helpful- You are reassuring your friend they did okay and it is encouraging them that they can do it in the next performance.
Your friend is talking about a TV show they recently started watching. You've seen the show and want to recommend a similar show they might like.
"Hey have you seen___? It is like the show you are watching now and I think you'll like it."
At lunch, Jake is talking about a new horror movie he saw. He describes in detail all the blood and guts he saw in the movie. You notice two of your friends who were sitting at the table get up and leave. Was this an appropriate or inappropriate topic?
It can be an appropriate topic, but Jake should probably leave out the details of all the blood and guts.
On Monday, you tell Jessica about an awesome party you went to over the weekend. A lot of your friends went, but Jessica was not invited. You notice Jessica become quiet and she stops commenting/responding to you. What do you do/say and why?
You could change the topic and ask what she did over the weekend. Since Jessica became quiet and stopped responding, she is most likely upset, sad, or disappointed that she wasn't invited.
Would you rather it be Halloween or Christmas all year round?
I would rather _____ because _______.
You are so great at goalie. You only let 3 balls into the goal this time instead of 10 like last time.
Hurtful- This is a backhanded compliment. It starts out nice, but then references their flaw from a past event. Instead, you can say, "That's a tough position and you are getting better at it."
Your friend keeps talking about their boyfriend/girlfriend, but you're tired of hearing and talking about them. You'd like to change the subject. How do you change the subject?
"Hey, did you hear about the new____?"
"Did you hear that Ms. T is giving a pop quiz in math today?"
"How did you like what we made in foods and nutrition class?"
Mr. Riley is talking about the class agenda when Jill walks into the classroom, takes a few loud sniffs, and says out loud," What died in here?" The whole class starts to laugh. Was this an appropriate time for Jill to make that statement?
Inappropriate- Even if it does smell in the class, it is rude to state that fact out loud in front of a large group. It would be better to ask Mr. Riley if he could open a door or window to air out the room.
You and your friends are talking about Halloween movies. Hailey says that The Nightmare Before Christmas is just a Halloween movie, while your friend Ryan starts to argue that it is a Halloween and Christmas movie. They get into a big argument and start insulting one another. What do you do/say and why?
You can remind them that it is okay to "agree to disagree," and remind them to keep it friendly. You can also try to change the topic to get them off the current topic.
Would you rather be able to talk to black cats or crows?
I would rather _____ because _______.