"I" Statements
True or False:
"I" Statements are meant to strip you of your manhood/masculinity
False - Explain why
If you don't do what I want, I'm shutting off your debit card
Aggressive - this is a form of financial control and abuse
We need to talk
I have a need to talk. Do you have the head space to hear me out for a few minutes?
True or False:
"I feel angry" is a correct and complete use of "I" statements
False - Merely stating your feelings is only part of the "I" statement - it must be followed by a clear and specific explanation as to why you feel this way
I feel hurt when you don't include me in decision-making. I would appreciate it if, in the future, you would ask my opinion before making plans for us. Otherwise I will choose not to participate
Assertive. "I" statement is effectively used, including a request for change in behavior, and an appropriate consequence
You make me crazy
I feel upset when you ______. I would appreciate it if you could do _____ instead because it would make me feel more connected...
Your partner came home from work and without explanation or engaging in conversation with you, went to the bedroom and started playing video games. Give an example of an "I" statement you can use here
Answers vary
Standing quietly while the other person is speaking, with arms folded, looking them up and down
Aggressive
I hate it when you control me
When you give me so many instructions, it makes me feel you don't trust me. I would appreciate it if _______
True or False:
"You made me angry, so I feel I have a right to yell" is a correct use of "I" Statements
False - explain how you could re-word this
Assertive
I'm a Gemini, and you know this about me, so deal with it
I realize I struggle with moods and accept responsibility for my actions. I will do better
Which of the following is a correct use of an "I" statement:
a) When you don't come home or call, I get worried something has happened to you
b) I feel scared when you raise your voice
c) When you criticize me in front of our friends, I feel hurt and disrespected
d) I feel de-valued when you choose to talk with people I don't know and don't include me
e) All of the above
e) All of the above. It is a personal choice to use "When you" first or "I feel" first, so long as both pieces are present
When you speak about me to others without me around, I feel disrespected. I appreciate you voicing your concerns to me in private so we can discuss them.
Assertive - proper use of "I" statement
You ALWAYS do this!