Ancient History
This movie scared her so bad, she set up an army of wooden dinosaurs as protection and needed her dad to dance around spraying magic Fabreeze before falling asleep.
What is Snow White? *nooo witchy witchy witchy...noooo queeny queeny queeny*
Her sister colored all over her favorite movie poster featuring this 90s heartthrob.
Who is Leonardo DiCaprio?
She unknowingly farted poofs of baby powder throughout this store.
What is the Verizon store?
This is the state name with only one syllable (at least in her clap-once-and-call-it-monosyllabic system).
What is "OHIO!"?
She called this literary necessity the "Dibble of Continents" when she was little.
What is the Table of Contents?
A frequent statement indicating her preferred level of undress when she was around 3 years old.
What is "my must be nakev" (i.e., "I must be naked")?
When cuddling with hot Italian exchange student on the Nordic bus, he referred to her pre-reduction boobs as "a very nice pillow" when they were this size.
What is GG?
This is the restaurant she takes all her friends to despite the fact she's gotten food poisoning there multiple times. It was also where she had her first date with Mike!
What is The Flying Goose.
Enter upperclassman hotties Mike Long and Lincoln Field...again. They noticed this blunder in class when she was reading aloud a story about a girl with OCD. She wasn't washing her hands, she was...
What is washington her hands?
What is Science Fiction?
She was invited inside at least three houses for photos on Halloween when she dressed up as this classic Hitchcock character.
Who is Tippi Hedren from The Birds?
She accidentally let this bodily function out in front of upperclassman Nordic team hotties Mike Long and Lincoln Field.
What is a snot rocket?
Thinking her work friend Kelly was calling, she answered the phone singing this song...when she realized it was her boss, Principal Chris Kelly, she pretended the phone was answered by a student.
What is "Gold Digger"?
When asked at a family party what her favorite part was of our 2006 trip to Italy, she confidently answered, "Venice!" We never went to Venice. What she meant was...
What is Florence?
As the saying goes, "the squeaky wheel gets the grease and kills the hamster," at least that's what happened when her childhood hamster (named after this famous hobbit) ate the WD-40 mom sprayed on his hamster wheel.
Who is Frodo?
Her anxiety caused her to perform this slobbery action when wearing her favorite hoodies.
What is chewing the sleeves?
She greeted David Wood in this flustered way at the local Colonial Villager marketplace.
What is "hiiii!!!!"?
She got arrested for this crime in college.
What is vandalism?
This was the question she asked when driving by our local reservoir in the dead of winter (it was frozen over and covered in snow).
What is "didn't there used to be a lake there?"?
She lost friends in college for stating she believed the Bible should be categorized under this genre.
What is Myth & Folklore?
This is what she would do to our family dog when she would insist, "I'm not boddering Emma!"
What is sticking her fingers up the dog's butt.
This is the middle name of her longtime childhood crush, Doak Jantzen.
What is E?
Mike says she barfed up an entire aquatic animal after a nice seafood dinner.
What is a full calamari squid?
"Can I please speak to Doug," Elisabeth says when calling her partner's house about a high school group project. When met with the clarifying question, "Junior or Senior?" her response baffled.
What is "umm...the freshman??"?
It was these types of people she said she couldn't work well with in a job interview.
Who are people who are too into magic and mythical creatures?