Elemental jokes
Why should you be like a proton?
So you will always be positive.
Are these jokes too basic? Because I see no reaction.
Looks like the angry chemical overreacted though.
Why did the attacking army use acid?
To neutralize the enemy's base!
Two chemists walked to a chemical store. One said "I want H2O!" and the second one said "I wand H2O too!" The second chemist died.
H2O too... H2O2... Hydrogen peroxide... get it?
Lost an electron?
Gotta keep an ion it.
What is the formula for ice?
H2O cubed!
Helium walks into a restaurant. The waiter says, "We don't serve noble gasses here." Helium doesn't react.
Get it? React?
My chemistry experiment exploded!
It's okay, oxidants happen...
Want to hear a joke about oxygen and potassium?
OK!
What happens if you aren't part of the solution?
What's a chemistry teacher's favorite thing to teach?
Ammonia, because it's pretty basic stuff.
What do you call a funny chemist in jail?
A silicon!
What should you say if someone asks you about Sodium?
Na...
What do you call an acid with an attitude?
A-mean-o Acid
What do chemists call a benzene ring where the carbon atoms are replaced with iron atoms?
A ferrous wheel!
Want to hear a joke about nitric oxide?
NO!
Why should you never trust atoms?
They make up everything!
What should you do to a dead chemist?
Barium!
What do you do with a sick chemist?
If you can't helium and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.
A neutron walked into a store and asked the store owner how much a drink cost.
The store owner said, "For you, no charge."