Dad Jokes
My chemistry joke flopped.
No reaction
Aquatic animal where the male carries the offspring
Seahorse
Time to see a dentist
2:30 tooth hurty
This cereal, held together with marshmallow frosting creates quite a treat. Snap! Crackle! Pop!
Rice Krispies
Though often depicted incorrectly, this famed rider was responsible for hanging lanterns in the church as well as stealthily riding to inform his compatriots in Lexington. Not Dawes or Prescott.
Paul Revere, He had a helper hang the lanterns to convey information to Charleston, across the river not for revere himself. He had also intended to warn the minutemen stationed in Conchord but was captured before he got there
Swimming with sharks sure costs a lot.
An arm and a leg
This flightless bird braves the -40 degree C elements to protect it's egg for 2 months straight
Emperor Penguin
These separate the planet into 24 regions each differing from the last by one hour.
time zones
dried kernels plus oil and heat makes this snack food.
Popcorn
The intentions of the participants in this fatal duel have been debated between modern historians. Some say, despite claims to the contrary, one's intention was to provoke the other and ruin their political career. Which it did.
Burr-Hamilton Duel
When I was young I didn't appreciate facial hair, but once I got older
It grew on me
The male of this comedically colored fish spends the majority its time cleaning and fanning its eggs in its sea anemone based home
Clownfish
The actress debuted in a blockbuster movie, It seems she reached this.
The big time
This packaging material can be used to entertain children via popping the air pockets designed for cushioning
Bubblewrap
This man made the generally stoic Washington laugh when British soldiers complained about minutemen firing weapons from behind stone walls. Franklin wittily asked "Didn't those walls have two sides?" Other quotes include "a penny saved is a penny earned", "Time is money" and "Concerning an Electrical Kite"
Benjamin Franklin, Psuedonym: Richard Saunders of Poor Richard's Almanack
Spent money on a belt that was too big
it was a huge waist
The fathers of this toxic, colorful amphibian keeps a watch over the young while the mother escorts the tadpoles individually to water. This is done to prevent infighting of the youth.
poison dart frogs
Best time of day hands down
6:30 (hour hand and minute hand pointing down)
This style of music originates from south korea and often consists of a large group of singers vocalizing over varied genres
K-Pop
John Hancock had a 500 pound bounty placed on his head for this illegal importation of goods aiming to avoid british taxes
smuggling ( He thought his bounty was insultingly low, perhaps another sign of his signature vanity)
My job is to crush cans all day and its making me sad
Its soda-pressing
These nocturnal birds of prey don't build their own nests. So the father is tasked with scoping out a suitable place for the eggs to be laid. Once that task is done, he is must quickly begin hunting to singlehandedly feed the growing family.
Eagle owl
When an object's velocity approaches the speed of light, time appears to pass slower when compared with the time that has passed by a stationary observer
Time dilation/ special relativity
These sudden marketplaces provide trendy destinations with limited and exclusive inventory
Pop-up store/ vendor
These two both were absent for the signing of the constitution in 1787 and coincidentally died on the same day, July 4th 1826
John Adams and Thomas Jefferson