Parentification
What is Parentification?
Parents/Caregiver look to their children for emotional and/or practical support, rather than providing it. Hence, the child becomes the caregiver. As a result, parentified children are forced to assume adult responsibilities and behaviors before they are ready to do so. In addition, they do not receive acknowledgment or support for taking on these responsibilities.
How common is parentification?
What is neglect?
Neglect is the ongoing failure to meet a child's basic needs and the most common form of child abuse2. A child might be left hungry or dirty, or without proper clothing, shelter, supervision or health care. This can put children and young people in danger. And it can also have long term effects on their physical and mental wellbeing.
Reasons child/youth are placed in parenting/caregiver roles
Effects of Parentification
1. Identity Development
Parentified individuals may find it hard to view themselves as their own person, since they have been used to always putting their own needs aside. Their identity actually depends on their ability to suppress their needs.
2. Self-expression and Self-care
Since parentified children learn from an early age that they are not allowed to have their own needs or wishes, this is adulthood translates into an individual who has difficulty employing self-care, asserting their own wishes and boundaries, and expressing their True Self.
3.Emotional Regulation
Chronic stress such as the stress endured by a parentified child under adverse circumstances can be toxic in the absence of a dependable and reliable adult. The child may appear highly capable to tend for themselves and others, very mature for their age, resilient and even wise beyond years- but they lack the safe haven of a secure attachment figure that is vital for the development of emotional regulation.
Children may struggle to regulate and cope with their own negative emotions, and may develop a high emotional reactivity and sensitivity that makes them susceptible to emotional outbursts.
Types of Neglect
Two types of Parentification
Instrumental parentification
Emotional parentification
What does parentification do to a child/youths attachment?
1. Trauma Bonding
2. Insecure attachment
3. Disorganized attachment style
4.Push and Pull relationships
5. Avoidant Attachment
What is psychological abuse?
Often co-occurs with other types of abuse
How might a child/youth feel when they are placed in a parent/caregiver role?
How does parentification effect other traumas?
Delay in Trauma Awareness
Parentified children may delay to become aware of the trauma they endured, since it was difficult to look inwards and become conscious of their own needs. After all, children are inclined to be loyal and trusting of their parents, even when this hurts. This may make it hard to develop insights about their situation and the effects this had on them.
How common is neglect?
60% of child abuse cases reported each year have a component of neglect
Long term effects;
How does a child/youth move on after an experience of being in a caregiver role?
1. Start prioritizing your needs
2. Talking about the impact
3. Rebuilding a relationship with your inner child
Effects of Neglect
Both short term and possible long term effects;