CLASSICS
A tiny dude with the emotional stability of a wet tissue is told he must return a piece of jewellery that isn’t even his. Instead of posting it, which would’ve solved 100% of his problems, he goes on the world’s longest hike with his best friend who is powered entirely by carbs and hope. Meanwhile, a creepy sleep-paralysis monster whispers “my precious” like he’s recording ASMR in a cave.
The Lord of the Rings
A girl weaponises poetry because a boy refuses to admit he likes her until the last possible second. Meanwhile, her sister falls for a dude who thinks hair gel and confidence are the same thing. High school is chaos, but at least the soundtrack slaps.
10 Things I Hate About You
A prince throws a tantrum, runs away, and lives his best bachelor lifestyle eating insects with two freeloaders who teach him how to avoid responsibility. Eventually, he returns home after realising hes royalty.
The Lion King
Teen volunteers to join a government-sponsored murder event because her little sister couldn't handle it. She befriends a bread enthusiast, fights people who have skincare influencer energy, and traumatises an entire nation live on TV.
The Hunger Games
Two exceptionally stupid friends go on a road trip because they found a suitcase containing more money than their brains could process. They accidentally outrun criminals, survive disasters, and remain blissfully unaware of how many laws they broke.
Dumb and Dumber
A teenage boy accidentally travels through time because a scientist—whose vibe is “invented caffeine dependency”—told him to stand near a car going 88 mph. The boy’s mum immediately tries to date him (gross), his dad needs motivational coaching to even speak, and somehow all of this is fixed with jazz hands and a skateboard.
Back to the Future
A girl commits identity theft against her own brother, becomes star athlete, and convinces an entire school that “different jawline, different height, different voice” is totally normal. Everyone is too distracted by soccer to question anything.
She’s the Man
One sister accidentally turns their country into Antarctica because she didn’t feel like going outside. The other sister is like “I can fix her,” which historically has never worked but she tries anyway.
Frozen
Four men lose a groom, gain a tiger, misplace a tooth, crash a car, anger the police, and somehow end up with a baby. The only explanation is: Vegas.
The Hangover
A group of undercover cops enroll in school again because apparently the best way to stop crime is to act like teenagers despite being old enough to pay taxes and complain about back pain and knees.
21 Jump Street
A giant fish decides humans are no longer the apex predators and proceeds to clown an entire beach town. A sheriff, a fisherman with anger issues, and a scientist who is definitely not paid enough spend two hours getting bullied by this aquatic menace. No one goes swimming ever again.
Jaws
A sad divorced man learns how to flirt from another man who dresses like he’s sponsored by cologne. Everyone catches feelings for the wrong person, nobody communicates, and a teenager writes a love letter so dramatic Shakespeare would tell him to chill. He then hires a dating coach to help him sort out his love life but this said dating coach somehow ended up dating his daughter instead. its crazy indeed.
Crazy Stupid Love
A red-haired teen signs a legally binding contract without reading the fine print because she saw a cute boy once. She loses her voice, gains legs, and risks her life for someone who would struggle to identify her in a lineup.
The Little Mermaid
A billionaire dresses like nocturnal wildlife to punch crime in the face because therapy isn’t dramatic enough. His biggest enemy is a man who laughs like an unpaid voice actor and believes chaos is a personality trait.
Batman: The Dark Knight
A boy and a girl enter a world where spirits live in everything, trees are sacred, and bathhouses have strict HR rules for ghosts. One kid constantly panics, and the other is determined to save her parents by… running a lot.
Spirited Away
A family tries to avoid taxes by pretending they are normal, but their daughter keeps summoning demons and spinning her head like it’s her after-school hobby. Meanwhile, a priest with the “I haven’t slept in 11 years” aesthetic tries to fix everything with holy water and determination.
The Exorcist
A normal man dates a woman whose family is richer than the entire Australian housing market. He meets a grandmother who could melt steel with her glare, an aunt who feeds gossip like oxygen, and 47 cousins who all own three mansions each.
Crazy Rich Asians
A girl with weaponised hair is locked in a tower by someone who acts like a skincare influencer but is actually just manipulating her for clout and youth. A thief climbs her window (normal) and suddenly they form the fastest relationship in human history.
Tangled
A boy goes to a school where every subject is either “how to not die” or “how to make someone else explode.” He survives multiple murder attempts, wins a sport everyone cheats in, and the teachers genuinely do not care.
Harry Potter
A man decides that the best way to cope with adulting is to steal a bunch of animals from the local zoo and bring them into his apartment, where they immediately ruin everything. His friends show up to help, but instead just make the chaos worse. Somewhere in the middle, a llama becomes a life coach, and the fire alarm gives up entirely.
Night at the Museum
A man runs. That’s literally the plot. He runs across America multiple times. He becomes famous, meets presidents, starts a shrimp empire, and unintentionally becomes the most inspirational sports brand on earth — all because he couldn’t think of anything better to do one morning.
Forrest Gump
A girl goes to a new school and immediately joins a cult led by a blonde dictator wearing pink. She slowly loses her identity, her dignity, and her ability to eat carbs without judgment. Eventually, everyone heals through violence, apologies, and a talent show.
Mean Girls
A boy steals an apple, gets chased by guards, and then becomes best friends with a spiritual NPC who helps him out. He uses these favours to impress a girl instead of solving poverty, which is a choice.
Aladdin
A group of men live in the forest with one girl who is statistically not supposed to exist. A wizard who looks like he failed every subject at Hogwarts keeps trying to catch them for… cooking purposes? Eating purposes? Honestly his motivations are unclear but definitely unhinged.
The Smurfs
A man decides that the perfect way to sabotage his rival is to enter a baking competition despite having zero cooking skills. He brings a sidekick who believes flour is a weapon, accidentally sets half the town on fire with caramel, and somehow wins by charming the judges with interpretive dance and a crying dog. Meanwhile, his nemesis tries to cheat, but the laws of physics and common sense refuse to cooperate.
Cloudy with a chance of meatballs