Feats of Strength and Athletics
When playing soccer with Amy in the basement, be sure to protect these
Shins
Where's the road?!?
Driving to volleyball tournaments
This place of employment had Amy fielding regular requests from extended family in Cleveland
Liquor World
Amy improved on the tradition of terrorizing this family on Wellington Drive by intentionally doing this…
Giving Jill Bolan an indian rug burn
One of the last recipients of an authentic Gordon nickname, Amy was called this
Beem bomb bats-a-doobie
Inspite of zero speed, form, or general technique - Amy showed that when there is a will, there is a way to a school record
Pole Vault
Mom was mortified having to ask the neighbors if they’d seen Amy only to find her here…
Sleeping under her bed
Think you can get a free ice cream from Amy, not on her boss’ watch at this local North Olmsted staple
Dairy King
Is Amy there?
Kelly Bialowski
Amy brushed aside any and all commentary from Mom as she would spend her money on this
Starbucks; fast food
A trip to the Emergency Room vindicated Amy from earlier accusations and ridicule from her family for being out of shape, as she somehow managed to pull off both of these while operating the capacity of one lung
Hiking a mountain in Alaskan mountains and running a leg in a marathon relay
This super power of Amy's really conflicted with Mom's motto of "no naps, no sleeping in"
Sleeping
If you bet with your coworkers she’d only last one day here, you’d be wrong…
Duck tape factory
Despite possibly knowing better, Amy couldn't resist a fun time in elementary school with this friend
Weesam (rolling in garbage cans in the hallway)
Finish this phrase: c’mon…
Aiiiimeeeee (you can do it Aiimmeee!)
This running form deployed by Amy was ultimately deemed ineffective
T-Rex
If you want to make Mom struggle to find one of her silver mixing bowl for weeks, do this.
Makie brownie mix to eat as a snack and forget that you left it in the basement next to the couch
Steeled by her stint at the Duct Tape factory, Amy wasn’t phased at to put on the uniform as this job
Chuck E Cheese
The best part of waking up is the smell of brussell sprouts for breakfast
Kasha
When the car radio is stuck on the Disney channel and you have 4 hours of flabbing over the road driving to a college visit with your friend, you should bring one of these
Boom box
Need to generate extra power in your leg, just grow one of these…
Hook
A nearly foolproof plan until a volleyball tournament led Mom to discover her secret.
Hiding her food in napkins in the random container underneath the buffet, which she was responsible for dusting.
Among the illustrious entries on her resume, this job left Amy with a particularly pungent aroma
Subway
Amy exposed this friend to her cousin’s unfettered testosterone while on vacation
Brittnay
Amy's life hack for dealing with an overdue shower schedule
Baby powder your hair