Thinking Errors 1
When we believe everything is only “good” or “bad”. No Gray Areas.
What is Black or White Thinking/All or Nothing (Setting the bar too high)
Believing that if you feel something, it must be true.
What are Feelings as Facts/Emotional Reasoning
"I should always be happy. I should never be sad."
"I should go to the gym 4 times a week."
What are Should Statements
Jason asked me to help him out at the art fair; I said yes, but I really don't have time.
Cindy asked me to make cookies for the church. I agreed, but now I regret it.
What is People Pleasing
"I should always be in a good mood. I should never be mad"
"Everyone gets mad sometimes. I can be mad and still make good decisions"
"It's normal to get mad sometimes"
Having a negative belief about yourself and thinking it applies to everything you do.
What is Negative Labeling
You predict the future negatively without considering other, more likely outcomes. Thinking you know what will happen in the future, and that it will be bad!
What is Fortune Telling/Jumping to Conclusions
"If I don't get an A on every test, I'm stupid."
"I have to win every tennis match, otherwise I'm worthless."
What is Black & White Thinking/All-or-Nothing
AKA: Setting the Bar Too High
I feel ugly, so I must be ugly.
I feel like a bad friend, so I must be a bad friend.
What is Feelings as Facts/Emotional Reasoning
"The kid who is sitting next to me is laughing. He must have be laughing at me"
"The kid who is sitting next to me is laughing, I wonder why?"
"The kid who is sitting next to me is laughing, he must have heard something funny!"
Believing things have to be a certain way.
Focusing on how you believe things 'should' or 'must be', rather than how it is.
What are 'Should' Statements?
You must please or impress others to maintain your value as a person or to keep from being devalued as a person
What is People Pleasing
"They looked at their watch while I was talking, they must think I'm boring."
"Emma didn't invite me to her party. I bet she doesn't like me."
What is Mind Reading
“I’m definitely going to fail my test,” OR “If I tell her that, she’ll hate me forever.”
What is Fortune Telling
"My friend hasn't talked to me all day. I wonder what I did wrong."
"My friend might be stressed out. I should ask if there is anything I can do to help."
"Maybe something happened last night or this morning at home that was difficult for my friend."
Assigning responsibility for your feelings or problems to others, often to avoid solving the issue, and making someone feel guilty for choices you disagree with.
What is Blaming (Others).
We can also do this to ourselves (Self) Blaming
You pay more attention to bad things and ignore when something good happens.
What is Ignoring the Good/Minimization/Disqualifying the Positives (aka mental filter)
"I'm so stupid. Everything I say is dumb."
"You're so lazy."
What is Negative Labeling
I made a mistake in my wrestling match, now my team lost the chance to get to the championship.
What is (Self) Blaming
"I am so stupid. I can't believe I said that. I can't do anything right!"
"I made a mistake. Everyone makes mistakes."
"I can learn from this and do better next time."
"Not my finest moment. I will do better next time."
Believing that the worst possible outcome will happen, and thinking it's the only outcome.
What Catastrophizing/Magnification/Blowing Things Up
Assuming you know what someone is thinking.
What is Mind Reading/Jumping to Conclusions
You get a stain on your new shoes and you think they're ruined and can'be be worn anymore.
"If I fail this test, then I will never get a job and become homeless."
What is Magnification/Catastrophizing/Blowing Things Up
You get one answer wrong on a long test, and all you can think about is the mistake.
You score 2 goals in your soccer game, but all you can think about is the shot you missed
What is Ignoring the Good/Minimization/Disqualifying the positives
"My soccer coach must think I'm not good enough to play in games--that's why I'm sitting on the bench."
"My teacher gave me a bad grade. He must hate me."
"Maybe the coach has something specific I can work on to be better in the games."
"I know I can do better. I'm going to ask the teacher for some feedback."