Building Trust
Share a "marble jar" moment that helped someone earn your trust.
When I shared a difficult memory with my friend, they validated me in a nonjudgmental way.
Name a healthy material boundary that you have for yourself. (think about your resources, possessions, what you buy, etc.)
I do not keep alcohol in my home to maintain sobriety and physical health.
What skill can you write out to practice asking for something you need to someone?
DEARMAN skill
What skill is helpful to maintain positive rapport and connection in a relationship?
GIVE - Gentle, Interested, Validation, Easy manner
Where is your favorite place you have traveled so far? Why?
Florida - to be by the ocean and look for seashells
How do you hold yourself accountable to your treatment goals?
I set SMART goals to practice skills and prioritize following through on them daily.
How would you assert your physical boundaries with someone who is making you uncomfortable?
Using a kind, gentle tone, say, "I feel uncomfortable when you look through my purse. Please ask me for what you are looking for and I will get it for you instead."
What skill(s) would you use to maintain an important boundary when you experience "push back" from someone?
Be a broken record
FAST skill - stick to your values and practice self-respect
Be clear and kind
What skill is helpful to maintain our self-respect during a conversation?
FAST - Fight fair, avoid over-apologizing, stick to your values, tell the truth
Share an activity that is on your bucket list?
Go orca watching <3
How do you practice reliability with yourself?
I regularly arrive to work on time and rarely call into work.
When I make plans with friends, I write it down on my calendar and stick to the plans or communicate with them in advance if I need to change plans.
Share any type of boundary that you are working on with yourself?
Time boundaries - Practicing better time management skills so I get to work on time and am also allocating enough time to work on my personal goals (yoga, reading, etc.).
Who is someone that is difficult to set boundaries with? What makes it difficult for you to assert yourself to them?
My friend because she is very pushy and puts her needs/ preferences above my own.
True or false: It is common that all 3 priorities (getting your objective met, maintaining a healthy relationship, and maintaining your self-respect) are often important during a conversation.
True! It can be helpful to pick the most important priority going into a boundary discussion, and all 3 goals are likely involved to some extent.
Share a time you felt adventurous
*being mindful about group appropriate topics
I went skydiving!
Share an example of practicing integrity.
I maintained my sobriety, even when I had opportunities to drink without anyone knowing about it. (Doing what is right/ practicing your values over doing what is fun/ easy).
Share a relationship that you are working on having healthier boundaries with. What kind of boundary are you working on?
Healthier emotional boundaries with my parent by not taking on their emotions just because they are having a difficult day. Open communication without over-extending myself to caretake their needs.
Scenario: A peer in group is struggling with resources and asks you for $20 to buy lunch.
How could you assert appropriate boundaries in this situation?
What situation would be helpful to use the Dime Game in?
When you are unsure how firmly to ask for something, or how strongly to say No to a request.
Would you rather go skydiving or scuba diving? Why?
Skydiving because I think scuba diving would make me feel claustrophobic.
Give an example of practicing nonjudgment in a relationship.
Offering your friend help and allowing your friend to help you in return. Reciprocal help. Not judging yourself when you need other's help! Even therapists need therapy :)
Share an emotional boundary that you have with yourself?
I make a strong effort not to think about work when I am at home because that drains me emotionally.
Scenario: Your mother invalidates your feelings by minimizing your depression symptoms.
How do you practice healthy emotional boundaries?
Practice self-validation for your own emotions. Calmly and directly tell mom how her invalidation made you feel, and do not internalize her judgment.
True or False: If you use a DEARMAN script skillfully to ask for help, you will always get what you want.
False. We can have very effective communication skills, but that does not guarantee we can control the other person.
Favorite place to explore around your home?
The Milwaukee Public Library or Seven Bridges.