Scathing Film Reviews
On The Bookshelf
The Great State Of...
Animated Creatures
Magazines
400

"I've had mosquito bites that were more passionate than this undead, unrequited, and altogether unfun pseudo-romantic riff on 'Romeo and Juliet.'" — Marc Salov, The Austin Chronicle.  

TWILIGHT
400

In "New Moon", the second book in the "Twilight" saga, Jacob Black becomes one of these, enemy of the vampires.

WEREWOLF

400

It touches four of the Great Lakes.

MICHIGAN

400

Bruno the dog is turned into a footman for the horse-drawn pumpkin coach in this animated film.

CINDERELLA

400

The name of this food magazine is a French phrase often said before dining.

BON APPETIT

800

"This is a movie about how words aren't cool, but you can still expect a girl to fall at your feet in response to mild wordplay. Please keep up. Or throw whatever device you’re reading this on into the ocean. Send me a postcard ... tell me what it’s like to be free." — Kaitlyn Tiffany and Lizzie Plaugic, The Verge.

THE EMOJI MOVIE
800

In books by Jeff Kinney, Greg Heffley writes the "Diary of" this title type of "Kid."

WIMPY

800

Its shape reminds of one of those big foam fingers at sporting events.

IDAHO
800

This pet is actually Genetic Experiment 626.

STITCH

800

Warren Buffett topped this mag's 2008 list of billionaires; Michael Bloomberg was its most powerful billionaire in 2009.

FORBES

1200

"While I had the misfortune to see (redacted) in a theater, most people will simply press 'play' out of curiosity on their Roku remote. I am willing to concede that this might elevate the experience a little ... the ability to take a quick trip to the kitchen or restroom after shouting 'no, don't pause it' to your partner on the couch will be liberating." — Jordan Hoffman, Vanity Fair.

BRIGHT

1200

Shel Silverstein's poems & drawings are collected in "Where" this "Ends."

SIDEWALK

1200

The combined area of all the other New England states would fit inside this largest New England state.

MAINE

1200

In this film, Rhino the hamster helps his dog hero, who doesn't actually have super powers.

BOLT

1200

In 1967 John Lennon appeared on the cover of the first issue of this magazine.

ROLLING STONE

1600

"(Redacted) is being marketed as a Date Movie. I think it's more of a First-Date Movie. If your date likes it, do not date that person again. And if you like it, there may not be a second date." —Roger Ebert

VALENTINE'S DAY

1600

"Inkspell" & "Inkdeath" are sequels to this book.

INKHEART
1600

It's the smallest state in the Deep South.

SOUTH CAROLINA

1600

In this film, the mouse Roddy St. James finds a new world after going down the bathroom's whirlpool.

FLUSHED AWAY

1600

This mag now distributed with the Sunday paper debuted in 1941, subtitled "The Weekly Picture Newspaper."

PARADE
2000

"(Redacted) saves its scariest moment for the end: a virtual guarantee that there will be a sequel." — Desson Howe, The Washington Post.

BATTLEFIELD EARTH
2000

"The Tale of" this big-eared guy is "the Story of a Mouse, a Princess, Some Soup and a Spool of Thread."

DESPEREAUX

2000

Eight other states were formed all or in part from territory this state once claimed.

VIRGINIA
2000

Lovelace is a rockhopper who will answer any of life's questions for the price of a pebble in this film.

HAPPY FEET
2000

"Life made easier" is the motto of the magazine called "Real" this.

SIMPLE
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